February 24, 2009

Women Who Give Up On Themselves, And The People Who Let Them – Discuss!

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:43 am by Debra

Women who give up on themselves -I’m sorry, I just don’t get it.  (fair warning: I’m hopping on my little soap box here, so you may want to curl your toes in, because I’m about to step on some, I’m afraid.)

You know who I’m talking about.  Sadly, I’ve noticed, a lot of them are in my age group (50 somethings). But it’s really happening in all age groups. These are the women who we see more and more, who don’t style their hair, don’t take care of their skin, don’t wear any cosmetics and don’t wear clothes that make them look pretty.

Their excuses are many.  They try to convince us (and themselves) that they don’t have the time, they don’t have the money, they are tired, they don’t see the point, they’re too old to worry about it, no one cares what they look like, and… yada, yada, yada.

Really?  Really!

The real question is WHY?  Why have these women basically given up on themselves?  I’m sure if you look at pictures of them in their past, they were quite attractive and pulled together.  And why isn’t anyone helping them?  Most of these women have husbands, sisters, mothers, children, close friends, and yet no one can bring themselves to talk to these women and let them know 1) how much they are loved and 2) why they need to love themselves?  I believe it’s an epidemic of low self esteem.

If you’re one of these women, I want to tell you that you ARE worth the time, money, and attention you need to take care of your appearance.  Making your self pretty is not only a gift you give yourself, it is a gift you give those around you.  We bring joy to others when we show them how much we care about ourselves.

The point is, we do take the time and we do put the attention into the things that matter most to us.  I think it’s time for women to realize they MATTER, and their appearance reflects how much they BELIEVE they matter.  When you neglect your appearance, you communicate very loudly to others “I DON’T MATTER”.  In all that we do, we are setting the example for others to follow.  What example do you want to set for the women around  you?

If you’ve been neglecting your appearance, you can decide to turn things around today. Start small, make an appointment to get your hair done.  Ask for an up to date style, cut, and color.  The right hair color will add the most to polish your look.  It is the cheapest anti-age treatment there is!   On your way home, stop at a department store cosmetic counter and get a free makeover.  Let them give you an up to date look.  If you don’t want to buy the higher quality cosmetics at the department store, stop at the drugstore on the way home and pick up the cosmetics you need.

Your next step is to get rid of all those OLD clothes you’re hanging on to, and go out and buy some new things. You need to buy clothes that FIT, and are up to date.  Start with your basics, and build from there as your budget allows.

When was the last time you purchased a new pair of eyeglasses?  Go update your style today.  You are going to have to re-direct funds towards yourself.  Tell your family you are doing this for yourself, and you want their support.  I promise you, they will be so happy you are finally taking care of yourself again, they will do everything they can to help you.

Decide you are not going to make any more excuses for why you look this way, and you are no longer going to play the martyr role.  Unburden yourself from the negative self talk that got you in this position.

If you know someone who needs to start taking better care of themselves, you need to help them.  Offer to take them to a hair salon and get their hair done.  Offer to go shopping with them.  Their confidence is low, so most likely they will say yes.  If they refuse, that will be your opening to say to them, “YOU matter to me, I want you to matter to yourself.  Let me help you.”

Everyone knows that when you LOOK better on the outside, you FEEL better on the inside.  And the reason that is true is because  by improving your appearance, you have recognized the importance of YOU.  You DO matter, and that’s worth celebrating!

Climbing down off soap box now… 🙂



  1. […] the original post here: Women Who Give Up On Themselves, And The People Who Let Them – Discuss! […]

  2. This is an amazing post my BFF. It is so true! I would like to add that even though someone may not have money for new clothes, Goodwill has a lot of nice, new things. A lot of my wardrobe lately is Goodwill. There really is NO excuse for a women to walk out her door looking like a hag. You go girl, you told it like it is and I appreciate your willingness to help us women realize that we ARE worth it! Thank God for hair color. Now, I need to make a hair appointment…thanks for reminding me….

  3. Zoé said,

    Sorry, I do not totally agree. I believe that in some cases women should not be pretty but smart and intelligent. Have you ever worked with males only? When you need to show them that no you are not just a pretty plant you can actually do something, believe me being all painted up isn”t helping you!

    And on the other side, did you ever think about where exactly did your make-up came from? What test have been done with them? Who are you giving your money to? And therefore which causes are you supporting by doing so?

    I do agree that being pretty can go through pretty make up and nice clothing. But I believe that being healthy, sporty, smiling and happy can make you look pretty good without having your hair dyed, or your lips painted and the last pretty dress you saw in a shop!

    Hope I didn’t offend you in any way. Just wanted to give my opinion as you kindly shared it with us.

  4. Debra said,

    Zoe, thanks for your comment, all opinions are welcome here. The point of my post was to encourage women who have given up on themselves, women who have let themselves go. These are women who are not looking smart, intelligent, healthy, or sporty. They are not smiling, they are not happy. They don’t feel good about themselves and it shows. Whatever look you want, go for it! just look like you care about how you look and you care about yourself. For people with low self esteem, many times just taking the first step with a new hairstyle and makeover gives them a real pick me up, and reminds them that, yes, they are worthy of attention. There are plenty of cosmetic companies that have good reputations, and ethical testing, that you can find by doing a little research, if that’s your thing. Just like anything we do to improve our appearance, if not done right, or overdone, it’s not going to help you. But a hairstyle, healthy skin, and a little color that fits your personality and lifestyle goes a long way, and CAN improve how you feel about yourself.

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